


Keep the World Safe

by slkdfowiejsdxk (BottomBitchBarnes)



Series: The Adventures of Barnes and Noble [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky's a babe, Gen, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve's a babe, oh my god tho theyre too cute don't touch me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:44:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1950336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottomBitchBarnes/pseuds/slkdfowiejsdxk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Steve finds Bucky, but Bucky doesn't know Steve. Steve and Tony try to help, but really Natasha's the only one who knows what's up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 'Till the end of the line

It was late November and Steve had been tracking the Winter Soldier for six months with so little success he was starting to wonder if maybe it really wasn't him anymore, if maybe he really didn't remember being Bucky. But he did know this: whoever was in Bucky's head had saved him from drowning when they were taking down S.H.I.E.L.D, so he owed him. Everyone except Sam, bless him, really seemed to think he was wasting his time trying to find Bucky, and Steve was so sick of it, he thought he might have to go solo soon.

At least, that’s what he thought, until Natasha brought him security footage showing the Soldier checking in to a jazz hotel in Chelsea. Steve thanked her briefly before dashing out.

“I need to know what room this man is staying in,” he told the man at the desk, holding up a still from the footage.   
"Listen, pal, that's confidential." Steve raised his eyebrows.   
"Sir, this man is a suspect in the murder of over 50 individuals. I suggest that you tell me what room he's staying in. Your country needs you." The man behind the counter scoffed.   
"Yeah, he's a murderer. And I bet you're Captain fucking America or some shit, too. But you listen to me. That man paid me extra for me to keep his room number confidential, and I fully intend to."

"How much?" Steve asked.   
"Excuse me?"   
"How much did he pay you? I'll double it." Steve wrote him a cheque for 1,000 dollars in Tony's name and the man was quick to tell him that Bucky was staying in room 705. _Sorry, Stark,_ Steve thought to himself as he dashed up the seven flights of stairs and through the corridor. _This is more important_.

"Bucky, you gotta let me in. Please, I can help," he called through the door, knocking quietly but insistently.   
"Leave me alone! I don't even know who you are to me!" He replied. Steve tried the doorknob- it wasn't locked.   
"Bucky, I'm coming in, okay?" He stepped inside and placed his hand on the Soldier's shoulder.   
"It's going to be okay, Buck, you'll see. Come on, we can see if Stark can do anything about your memory for you." the Soldier stood up and looked him in the eye.

"Come with you so _what,_ you can _fix_ me? Make everything _okay_ again? That's not going to happen, Rogers, and you know it. I'm completely fucked up, and the only thing that's gonna happen if I go with you is that I'll have to watch as you go insane trying to pick up my pieces." Steve grabbed his shoulders.   
"You don't need to be fixed, Bucky. You just need to believe me when I tell you that none of this was ever your fault. You know I just need you to be okay, and that's all I'm ever gonna need. I'm with you 'till the end of the line." 

* * *

It took a lot more convincing, but in the end the Soldier decided that he would at least try to get his memory back. At Avengers Tower, Steve explained the situation to Tony (who, although having been skeptical until Steve brought him back, was glad that Steve could _finally_ get his head back in the game), and Tony agreed to help try and get back Bucky's memories of life before HYDRA.

A few weeks later, after countless doctors and technicians and psychiatrists, they still hadn't had any luck.   
"Well, there's always the other option," Tony suggested to Steve at the end of a particularly frustrating day.   
"Sorry, which other option was that?" Steve asked.   
"Cognitive recalibration. Basically, hit him really hard on the head and hope he's concussed. Natasha suggested it- Said it worked on Clint when Loki had him under that mind control."   
"I dunno, Stark. Seems a bit risky. If that would work, don't you think it might've in the middle of a fight? What if it just makes everything worse?"   
"What if it works?"

"I'd like to try it if it means that I can stop talking to all these shrinks," the Soldier put in.   
"Well, there you go, Rogers, two to one and I've got a suit. So's it gonna be you or me?" Steve threw Bucky a Look, and he got a smirk in response. He shook his head and squared up his shoulders.   
“Now?”  
“Might as well.” Uppercut, blow to the left temple with the shield, and he collapsed. Tony kicked him in the forehead, saying something about the 'Frontal cortex' and how it was the center of personality.

 

* * *

He woke up the following afternoon, in a bed that was too soft and a room that was too quiet.   
“What the hell?” he asked the room at large.   
“‘m I on leave or something?”   
“Or something,” Steve replied from the corner, putting down his sketchbook.   
“Morning, Buck.”   
“Why can’t I hear the Front? Where are we? When can we go back? Last I remember, we were on that train- wait, no, that’s not right, I remember we were in some kind of aircraft, maybe? But it wasn’t a plane…” Steve went and sat on the bed next to him, brushing the hair away from his face.

“Slow down, there, Buck. It’s alright, I’ve got you, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine. Do you remember anything else?”   
“Not really,” he said, sitting up.   
“Man, I must be pretty bad if they’re letting you off just to come see me.” Steve tilted Bucky’s head, checking again to see if there was any blood.   
“Nope. I knocked you out yesterday’s all.”   
“So shouldn’t we be on the way to Germany? I thought that was the plan, we were gonna take Hitler out.” Steve sighed. _This is gonna be hard_ , he thought to himself, thankful that Tony had replaced Bucky’s metal arm with one that looked and felt like flesh and blood.   
“The war’s over, Buck,” Steve explained.   
“We won.” Bucky spluttered.   
“But that’s- No, that’s not- How?” Steve took a deep breath.   
“Let’s get some food into you, okay? I’ll tell you everything I know, and you can meet everyone.”

They made their way to the 34th floor of the Avengers Tower, meeting Bruce along the way. Steve made Bucky breakfast, (pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon, with real maple syrup and a cup of coffee) and sat across from him at the table.   
“So, far as I understand, what happened to you is that you fell into that ravine out of that train. You lost your arm in the fall, and some HYDRA operatives found you. They took you back to Zola. He put a robotic arm on you, wiped your memory, and gave you a version of the serum that Dr. Erskine used on me. Then they put you in cryo until they needed you next. You were codenamed the Winter Soldier- HYDRA's greatest weapon. I crashed a plane into the Arctic Ocean. The allies won the war without us. Zola and the Red Room brainwashed you, Bucky, okay? You have to understand that none of what they made you do is your fault. Nobody blames you at all, not even the government. In fact, they're recompensing you over half a million dollars.”

“HYDRA's greatest weapon meaning...?"  
"Assassin."  
"What year is it?"  
"2014."  
"70 years... How many?"  
"Buck, you don't want that much--"  
"How. Many?"  
"65, far as we can tell. There could be more. Buck, none of this is your fault, if I could've just reached farther none of this would've happened, we would've woken up together... If you gotta blame somebody, blame me." Bucky looked down at his hands.  
"This isn’t my hand..?” he looked up at Steve with confusion.   
“Don’t worry, it’s not from a dead guy. It’s a prosthetic. Stark's kid made it for you the other day, we figured your other one would freak you out too much. Metal, you know.”

“I think I’d prefer the metal right about now. This feels like a lie.”   
“Alright, well, let’s go talk to Tony about it. Maybe he can upgrade the old one. Jarvis?” He addressed the room at large.   
“Yes, Captain Rogers?” Bucky looked around for a butler or something, but found nothing.   
“Could you ask Tony if he’s busy? We’re going to need to talk to him in a bit.”   
“Mr. Stark is in a meeting right now, but he has a two- hour window from 5-7 this evening between his meeting with the president and his supper with Ms. Potts. Would you like me to alert him that you would like to talk then?”   
“Yes, please. And if you could remind me when he’s free, that’d be great.”   
“Of course, Captain.”   
“So Buck, what do you want to do? We could go see Radio City, they do tours now, and Sasha’s is still around, we could get pizza after,” Steve offered, knowing Bucky had wanted to see the inside of the Music Hall since before it had opened.

Halfway through the tour, in the diamond-patterned fainting room, Bucky collapsed. Steve caught him before he hit the ground, but they still caught the attention of the tour guide.   
“Captain Rogers?” she asked (She had, as had everyone else, recognised Steve immediately).   
“Is everything alright?” Steve deliberated.   
“It should be- But my friend here has shellshoc- Sorry, PTSD. He’s been through a lot. Is there somewhere where I could sit with him? Just make sure he’s alright when he comes to?”   
“There’s the smoking room, just there,” she replied, pointing to a doorway just behind Steve.   
“Thanks, ma’am.”   
“No problem, sir.”

Steve sat with Bucky on the leather couch, gripping his right hand tightly.   
“Stevie?”   
“You okay, Buck? you just collapsed. Is this too much for today?” Bucky nodded and leaned on Steve’s shoulder.   
“Alright, let’s get back to my apartment. You want pizza?” Bucky shook his head.   
“Okay. Let’s get you home.”

* * *

Back at the Tower, Steve got out some wool blankets and started up the fireplace. He wrapped himself and Bucky in the biggest blanket, hugging him close.   
“Thanks for putting up with me, punk,” Bucky whispered.   
“It’s not exactly like I didn’t want to, jerk,” Steve replied, pressing his lips to Bucky’s temple, where there was still a bruise from yesterday.   
“I wish someone who understood at least a little had been there when I woke up. It’s so different now, I didn’t know which way was up. But I’ll help you through this, I promise. I’m with you as long as you want me to be.”   
“‘Till the end of the line, then, Stevie.”   
“Yeah, Buck. ‘Till the end of the line.”


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's memory starts to come back. Steve helps as much as he can.

Steve couldn’t find Bucky anywhere. He had been missing for hours, and though Steve was fairly sure he hadn’t left the tower, if anyone could elude JARVIS’ security systems, it’d be Bucky. His memories of being the Winter Soldier had started to come back, and Steve was worried that he would hurt himself.   
“JARVIS, do you know where Bucky is? I can’t find him.” a slight pause.   
“I believe he’s in his closet, Captain.”   
“Thanks, JARVIS.”

* * *

Steve got some soda crackers and a glass of water and went to Bucky’s room. He set the plate and cup on the floor before kneeling and knocking gently on the closet door.   
“Hey, Buck? You need to eat something, alright? I’ve just got some crackers here, I didn’t know how hungry you’d be, and a glass of water. I’m gonna be in my room if you wanna talk, okay? You don’t have to, though.” He got up and started to the door.   
“Thanks, Stevie,” he heard Bucky call through the door. Steve smiled through a grimace and went to his room. 

* * *

A couple of hours later, he went back to check on him again.   
“Hey. You alright?” He called through the door. He heard a choked sob and a barely-there ‘no’ in response.   
“I’m coming in, okay?” he didn’t hear any resistance, so he opened the door to find Bucky, curled in on himself in the back corner under a shelf with his knees tucked under his chin and his metal fingertips digging into his other arm so hard Steve winced at the sight. Steve went over and sat cross-legged facing him.   
“Stevie, why am I even here?” the trembling figure before him asked, gripping his arm impossibly tighter and biting into the flesh. Steve grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his arm, squeezing tight.   
“Hey, Buck, it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’ll keep you safe.” Bucky leaned against him, warm weight of his head against his shoulder sobering for Steve: He had to be the strong one now, in more ways than one. 

* * *

They stayed in the closet for a very long time, Bucky’s sobs eventually quieting to hiccups as Steve held him close, rubbing little circles on his back and trying not to cry himself.   
“Buck, we should probably go to bed,” he murmured. Bucky shook his head and clung to his shirt tighter.   
“Nightmares,” he mumbled.   
“Hey, it’s alright, I’ll stay with you, alright? I’ll keep the nightmares away as best as I can, I promise. You have to try to sleep, Buck. Come on.”  
  
They ended up in Steve’s room, Bucky’s leg draped over Steve’s waist and head on his chest as Steve’s arms awkwardly cradled Bucky’s frame as they lay on the foam pad on the floor listening to music (The bed was, in both of their opinions, still too damn soft).   
“Love you, Buck,” Steve affirmed, kissing the top of his head as they drifted to sleep.


End file.
